In Gratitude 2017

As 2017 winds up I am in the reflect and review mode.

There have been heart felt, precious moments that I am grateful for.

I am grateful for those that answer my calls to come play.

In appreciation of those that bring music to my life.

Gratitude for the beauty I have seen.

Though I may not have expressed gratitude at the time I see the value of those aha moments when I fail, fall and learn.

Fortunately I have an awesome support crew on standby who maintain me.

2017 may all you have taught me be remembered as I start a new chapter in 2018.  Grateful for the dawn of each new day, for the chance to start again a new.

 

“She be right mate”

“She be right mate” the iconic Australian reference to our capacity to be resilient to rise to the challenges with a larrikins optimism and confidence.

Resilience is defined in the Oxford dictionary as the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties, toughness, the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape.

We maybe in Spring but how is our capacity to spring back?

Dr. Billie Hunter’s presentation on her research on resilience and the emotional work of midwives lead me to ponder in this blog.

Surface Acting

Surface acting is what we do in a situation where we cannot show our emotions.  I remember a mentor speaking of leaving behind her home life  to be 100% present to patients. A skill I grasped and practiced, practiced  –  now I too could be up for an Oscar award.

I squirm with discomfort as I acknowledge that surface acting extends beyond work in times of stress such as family illness.  Is this where professionalism slowly chokes authenticity if I don’t be brave in sharing my feelings?  Emotions are bound by social mores contributing to when feelings are displayed or managed.  For our well being concealing masks need to be dropped to show how we feel.

They can. Why  cannot you?

Resilience is the catch cry of our society and an expectation that must be meet.  But what if you are having a bad day? That one day where you are living in Struggle town and dyscopia has taken residence.  This is not the day to compare yourself.  Being “alright mate” all the time is unrealistic and unattainable.

The ability to be self aware was a key finding in Dr Hunters research. Accepting and allowing our unique perspective is part of this awareness.  Journalling and debriefing are examples of how self awareness is fostered.

Counter forces to self awareness include staff room judgement and a harsher internal critic.

Resilient Repertoire

Billy Hunter presented this resilient repertoire as a guide for resilience:

• Gain perspective through reflection;
• Seek and offer support;
• Find positive mood changers that work for you;
• Keep a sense of balance;
• Appreciate your strengths, abilities and limitations. Anticipate stress;
• Avoid unreasonable self expectations.  Look after yourself;
• Value the work you do;
• Control what you can and accept what you cannot.

Ilze Jaimberzim coined bouyancy as alternative term to resilience as she described developing a proactive response to resolving work stress and conflict.

Institutions Responses

I really appreciate how Billy Hunter raised the issue that institutions need to look at why staff are having to be resilient for example: staff / patient ratios.

It is simplistic to state that the worker needs to “pull up her/ his socks toughen up, be resilient” creating a power play of worker victim / institution judge.  There are budgets and outcomes to meet but this is not possible when  low morale leads to staff absentism or presentism.

Staff feedback to employers records conditions and makes problems visible therefore the elephant in the building is named and can not be hidden.

We will be alright

I get a great sense of satisfaction and pride when I see staff pulling together to work with families in adverse situations to make the best possible outcome.  Some days this is miraculous I acknowledge everyone is giving their best to make life better for a patient.

Resilience or buoyancy grows when you take a moment to sense what learning came from a challenging situation.  The learning is self awareness and constructive dialogues with staff members for together we can make it alright.

 

Reference and resources

Hunter, B. & Warren, L (2015) Caring for ourselves: the key to resilience. In Byron S Downe S (eds) The Roar behind the silence. Pinter and Martin p 111 -115

https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/resilience

Ilze Jaimberzim found in https://www.midwives.org.au/news/seven-ways-introduce-buoyancy-your-life

Bernshaw, Kaye. Being resilient in the face of outer conditions [online]. Australian Midwifery News, Vol. 17, No. 1, Mar 2017: 18-19. Availability: <http://search.informit.com.au/documentSummary;dn=730410917081375;res=IELHEA> ISSN: 1446-5612. [cited 12 Nov 17]

 

 

bbb but…

“bbb “… but..because… there are barriers… beyond which we can BE so much more than the warning signs we see or imagine.

“bbb”

 

“Bbbb” those stammering moments where hesitation and fear grips.   Fear  prepares us to adapt to possibilities.  Acknowledging a fear allows me to dissect it –

• Is fear  real or imagined?
•  Will I survive if fear happens?
• What am I expecting?
• What am I predicting?
• What do I see happening in this situation?
• What conclusions am I jumping to?

My expectations and evaluations influence how I perceive and respond to fears.

Because

Because …. the analysis paralysis – grip of the mind halting the ability to act.  Harsh self evaluations and others mean words killing a self esteem fostering doubt that becomes inertia.  The pasts luggage burying or hiding it owners under the excuse because….

Does because hold a life to hostage?

Barriers

“I wont!”  “I cannot” a barrier real or imagined present.

“I might…” breaking down of  the barrier.

“I will…” seeing beyond barrier.

“I am ”  what barrier?  Progress action oriented.

Beyond

 

Beyond is the space of possibilities where potential lives as Bruce Lee said …

“Ever since I was a child I have had this
instinctive urge for expansion and growth.
To me, the function and duty of a quality
human being is the sincere and honest
development of one’s potential.”

In being present and accepting its possible to see the bbbs and become more than our fears, becauses and  barriers.

May your bbbs not limit your potential.

Reference

Moore, M & Tschannen -Moran (2010) Coaching psychology manual, Lippincott Williams & Wilkins, Philadelphia

http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=47

 

First aid kit for self care

Recently I renewed my First Aid certification a life giving skill which I wish to not use but appreciate I have the know how when needed.  At the time I questioned why we don’t instruct snake bite treatment with self care solutions.  Then I found a Cheryl Richardson (2009) book on Extreme Self Care.

Prompts to create your first aid kit

Cheryl Richardson (2009) p. 103 identifies questions to ask yourself when creating a first aid kit unique to you:

Who can I turn to for support when I am afraid?  Who comforts me, makes me feel safe and allows me to have my feelings?

Who do I need to avoid?

• 
• What does my body need to feel nurtured, strong and healthy?
• What responsibility or commitments do I need to let go of .   To clear some space so that I am able to feel my feelings and do what’s necessary to honor my needs?
• What unhelpful coping strategies or activities do I need to avoid?
• 
• How will I best express my feelings?

What objects can I use that to remind me to breathe, relax my mind and return to the present moment?

What can I do to take a break from the emotional stress? What’s my best healthy distraction?

What spiritual practice restores my faith or connects me with my spirituality?

What do I need to feel comforted at this time?

It takes honesty and self awareness in answering these questions.  The answers form the basis of the emergency kit you can access in challenges.  Honor your responses to these questions you know your needs. Friends/ family care for themselves in their own way which you can heed when offering support.

Tear open as required

Like the first aid kit in your house or car you hope you will not need to use it.  Reality is the answers you found to create your Self care first aid kit will be used daily.

Reference

Richardson, C. (2009) The Art of Extreme self care, Hay House, Sydney

From Coach to wellness

“I want to but…..”

“I just cannot…”

“Its hard”

So many valid reasons to halt us from travelling towards our best self.

Who is sabotaging your efforts to become well?

What if there was a slayer who coached you to not heed those undermining thoughts and nay sayers?

Connecting with a coach shifts the impossible to I am possible.

Continue Reading

Peace be with you

Peace be with you.

An intention and action.

Its origin internal extending externally beyond ideology or borders.

Lest we forget

There are days held to remember, to be grateful, to grieve and to hope.

For those that where in war zones the memories and trauma can live on.

May there be peace for those that live and serve in conflicts.

 

Universal request

With international tensions mounting there is a shared desire to live in peace that unites people.  Our grandparents / parents have negotiated war in the past.  Hearing their memories of previous conflicts reminds me that peace can prevail.

Individual Peace for world peace

Working to maintain our own peace ripples out to our community and beyond. A peace summit is created with greeting a person or tolerating a workmate.   Mallika Chopra describes 3 exercises to promote individuals peace:

• Meditation
• Forgiveness
• Deepak Chopra’s Three Cs challenge – to not criticise, condemn or complain.

Peace is to be valued and shared.

May peace be in your heart, mind and actions.

May peace be with you and all creatures.

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