Stretching Expanding as transitioning

 

 

“Ahh ….!” Wide eyed  internal INTENSE pressure, nausea with wobble self confidence. Transition the final surge of opening in birthing I have been blessed to witness as a midwife.   “Please pray for us” read the txt from a friend (whose homebirths I had attended) as she witnessed her daughter in law transitioning to birth their first child, grandchild .  A candle was lit as we sent prays for the family to be.

Transition extends beyond birth to times when we are on the precipice of changing, adapting and adjusting.  Oh the discomfort of being in the unknown where the answers are not obvious yet and we are seeking safety. The temptation to do, do, do or to escape the intensity as we seek the familiar .  Our Beeing, stillness, presence is the sanctuary we have.

 

 

Pause before you leap into action.  There is no rushing transitions, they have their own timing.

 

It is tempting to withdraw for a time, to contemplate while not procrastinating .  In coming home to our nest, our internal home we can create a  refuge.  Letting go of our doubts, fears  with a breath out to make space and breath in to receive, just as in birth breathing is grounding spacious.  Explore with curiosity what practices nourish you.

 

Look up you are not alone, others too may have walked the path you are on.  The champion who silently stands with you is a treasure, they are the midwives that hold you in your becoming.  They do not wear a uniform or necessarily hold a degree in expertise these beings are quietly humble and  supportive.

 

Transitioning is occurring on the individual, community, national and global level.  We are all stretching expanding in transition.  The pull to constrict, resist change, become small, shut down is the counter force to be aware of .  Practices like prayers, rituals are the intentions that hold transitions.

In the words of Anais Nin: ”  And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”

To all my midwives that are holding space for me thankyou, you are making a difference to my transitions.

Winter a time for sheltering from rain, seeking warmth a perfect  opportunity to be still and reflect.  What could possible disturb energy flowing with this bliss? “Da dum da dum” (Jaws movie sound) FEAR in Jin Shin Jyutsu is the disharmonizing attitude in Winter.

“The wise man in the storm prays to God not for safety from danger, but from deliverance from fear.  It is the storm within that endangers him not the storm without” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Adrenaline is the hormone messenger of fear creating a response in the body where digestion, body/ blood chemistry is disturbed, muscles stiffen, difficulty sleeping/ thinking with capacity to conceive and birth interrupted.  Fear can limit our breathing, halting the flow of energy.   It blinds us as false evidence appears real with popular news and social media adding to this adrenal cocktail.  With courage we can calmly restore breathing – research our conscious choices flowing into decisive action.

In Jin Shin Jyutsu a cure to calming our adrenal response is working with safety energy lock 23 which is found in the small of the back at the 12th thoracic vertebra, by the adrenal glands and kidneys. Safety energy lock 23  represents flowing with life, the element water and the colour blue.   When this energy lock is disturbed we  do not enjoy being with ourselves, feelings of negativity, self destructive thoughts, impatience, stubborness and selfishness prevail.   A simple way to address this disturbance is to gentle hold the little finger or place hands on the 12th vertebra.  Slowly you may feel a pulse beat its rhythm, hear yourself breath out a big sigh with muscles letting go of fears.

“you’ll get a chill in the kidneys” my Mum’s saying

In Winter our “waterworks” kidney and bladder organs are calling for extra attention.  We crave salt when kidneys and bladder need extra attention.  Standing for long periods of time can stress kidneys and bladder – back pain, headaches, ear and eye ache are symptoms. The simplest way to care for these organs with Jin Shin Jyutsu is to hold your index finger.

Winter is an opportunity to rest, to review and gather energy to bloom in the  spring time.  Acknowledging our fears holding our little and index finger energizes us to flow with life to become our unlimited potential.

 

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Intention with virtues and strengths

Greeting a new day full of possibilities and promise.

I have started a new ritual of setting an intention set in strengths or virtues before leaving home for work. I watched a good friend do this involving her family where a virtue or strength card is randomly drawn as a focus for the days intent.  Intention as a noun has two meanings:

1. a thing intended an aim or plan
2. in medicine the healing process of a wound

Character Strengths and Virtues

Dr Martin Seligman and Dreal Neal H Mayerson leaders in positive psychology identify 6 virtues and 24 character strengths that individuals can demonstrate.  Rather than focusing on what a person is not there limitations the character strengths and virtues reveal what qualities a person has or could develop. The 6 virtues and 24 Character strengths related to each virtue are listed below

VIRTUE                 STRENGTH

Transcedence :     appreciation of beauty and excellence, spirituality, gratitude, hope, humour

Temperance:  forgiveness, humility, prudence, self regulation

Justice: teamwork, fairness, leadership

Humanity:    love, kindness, social intelligence

Courage:   Bravery, perseverance, honesty, zest

Wisdom:  creativity, curiosity, judgement, love of learning perspective

In setting an intention based on these strengths and virtues I aim to personally develop these attributes.

My intent

 

I admit to being ad hoc in creating an intention. So quickly I slip into enabling other peoples intentions losing or sabotaging my own.  I disappear into habitual routines void of intent, lacking clarity of the motivation as to why I do things.

Stopping to create a strength or virtue based intention before diving into my day can be like a compass drawing me back on the path of what I plan or aim.  Letting a friend know of my intention can hold me accountable and provide a potential cheer squad.

 Group intention

It is possible that your intention could be shared by other people.   Together we can combine forces to magnify, clarify and grow an intention.  As seen here in winter at the Cold water Challenge to  swim in the Swan River to raise funds for Cystic Fibrosis research.

Creating a group intention takes skills in allowing everyone to be heard, have time to reflect and refine what the group intends. Thus the backbone of what a group plans is formed.

In Tension with intention

A challenge with intention is the pull between :

What we intend:  “she was full of good intentions” something we mean to do whether you pull it off or not.

How we expect this intention to be.

Versus Reality of how it pans out and the consequential self judgement and recrimination.

The Buddhist practice of non attachment helps deal with this tension.  Its the sigh of acceptance that I tried and it may or may not work out.

 

Healing with intention

Focusing on a strength manifests the capacity to build other strengths as you see what is possible.  In healing  you work with what you have and the enhancers of healing for example a clean wound and good diet.  Creating an intention based on a strength heals as the negative comments have a positive buffer that builds you.

Have Patience my dear

Go: go, go, rush, rush, rush, now, now, now the sound track to a life without patience.

Currently colleagues patience is stretching as I adapt to new work spaces with steep learning curves. In creating a home I need to be patient.  My drama lamas are lessons in patience.  Following is my self review and quotes that have prompted me.

Patience, persistence and perseverance

“Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success”.

It is easy to get drawn into thinking everything has to be done stat with instant reward and quick response time.  A builder gave an insight of this unreality with television reality programs came consumers misguided expectations of homes being built pronto!  In  old photos Dad is seen clearing a bush block, gathering granite and timber to use in the build.  It was patience, persistence and perspiration that created Warrawilla the farm.

Are we prepared to roll up our sleeves, get dirty, allow time to observe, to methodically, patiently create a future?

Can we pace ourselves ?

Computers have a quicker response time, coffee can be instant but growing a life takes …

Two Powerful warriors are patience and time

Many things I do now take less time than in the past.  It is easy to forget where we have come from and the time investments made. There were mistakes and retrys in grasping skills such as driving a car.  Learning involves repetition and practice creating our foundations set in patience and time.  Martial arts, Yoga, Qi gong practitioners demonstrate this in their powerful energising practices.

The opposite of patience is the abrupt energy of anger with its quick hostile response to situations.  I have been observing when I am boiling towards an angry melt down, that this is the time I need to exhale attitude and  slowly breath in patience.  Breath out … breath in repeat often.

” At the bottom of patience one finds heaven ” West African saying

The reward of patience is witnessing what grows.  At times it may feel as far away as heaven.  Walking in the bush is a moment of heaven on earth. I see trees that have slowly germinated grown to their majestic stature with a leafy canopy shading us.  These trees have patiently seen generations of people mature.

What slice of heaven are we patiently building for all to share?             Long term visionaries applied patience to create what we enjoy now.  It is at the very point of giving up that knowledge and success come.

Be here now and wait

When I am impatient, I am not present. I chaotically speed forward to a future with set expectations.  There is no give or flexibility with impatience.  It comes with a rigid defensive stance that does not allow me to adapt.

“Be patient my dear ..” rings in my ears a memory of words from my  Nana’s generation.  In her life she had to accept having no control and wait till the war ended to be reunited with Papa.  It did not mean she never had frustration or impatience it was her awareness  of how she was acting that modeled patience.

Lichen and moss slowly gather on a chair, it act as a reminder to halt the need for speed.

Sit and ponder

“Have patience my dear”

#Exhale impatience

References

This is an inspirational TED talk on patience

 Cccs more than chips

Christine Hatzis Mum’s told her:

“You have 3 Cs in life: choices, chances and changes.

You must make a choice to take a chance to change your life.”

 From one mother to another this came to me via my Mum who was travelling as a grey nomad.  It was a wake up call to possibilities and opportunities.

Chances

Any one that enters the ocean know of the chances of shark attacks or in the bush the snake bite potential.  In life we are presented with probabilities, risks and worst case scenarios.  The ever ready stream of information on search engines can create analysis paralysis and an outsourcing of  expertise.

Chances have short, spontaneous spurious time frames that could be lost or grasped. Taking a chance involves courage to take responsibility for your action and acknowledge the “what ifs ..’ then act.  As Anais Nin stated:

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage”

Take a chance !

Choices

Choices were limited to the General Stores selection in my country town.  Visiting cities with mecca shopping choices like Walmart brought on awe and overwhelm.  I am grateful to have choices that my Grandparents did not have including education, fresh food and career possibilities.

There are times when it seems I have no choice and this is where this quote is heeded:

I choose my response that changes everything

I have been in situations I would not have chosen – but on reflection they forged life skills such as applying self control.  Our response is a choice we all have in any moment.

 

 

Change

Change is the reliable turning of tides, fall of the surf and drift of the sand.  Though the waves of change can be meet by resistance and denial – no lifesaver is going to get you out that rip.

There is the trap of expecting the world, the work place even family members to change.  This is when we are the block to change as we don’t dare to think, act beyond “its not fair”  “its hopeless” “they’re…..”.

You are the change, its not a case if they will I will – you’ve got the power to change.

What are your choices?

Is there a chance you could take?

Dare you change?

CCC ‘s more than chips.

Thanks to the friends helping me with my CCC’s

love Susanjane

Cracking Compassion

“Have a good time not sure what you are doing …. but you can explain it to me when I see you.” text from Mum.

To Adelaide I flew to learn with an inspiring mob on a Mindful Self Compassion Intensive led by Tina and Peter Gibson.  Mindful self compassion has been shared and researched in the western world by Kristin Neff, Paul Gilbert and  Christopher Germer.

This blog is on cracking into the 3 elements of  self compassion: self kindness, common humanity and mindfulness.  Warning this is my simple version.  Seek a course, read a book or listen to a podcast to find out more – it can change you life.  Resources will be listed, apply liberally.

Self Love and Kindness

Self kindness is applying the kindness I extend to a friend in need when I am in the same position. What stops me from being kind to myself is the harsh, internal critic.  My critic, who I imagine shares Darth Vader’s theme song is acknowledged, thanked for his/her insights and sent a light saber beam to silence. This judgmental fiend can be given to much airplay time and grows by comparison and discrimination  – which places me on defense mode.

Whereas self compassion encourages me to be a loving, kind friend onto myself . In practicing self kindness I am noticing the language I apply to myself, shifting from aggressive “put downs” to terms of encouragement and even endearment.  Rather than seeking others I am soothing myself with a hug from my own arms.  Self compassion helps me embrace that though I am not perfect – I am okay.

Mindfulness

Ruminating on things from the past or in the future is when I am freezing in mindlessness – the flip side to mindfulness. Mindfulness brings me to the present allows me to move from overwhelm to a comfortable space.  Simple strategies such as touching a gemstone, listening to my breath and feeling the sunlight bring me home to the present – mindfully.

Common Humanity

 Common humanity is seeing that as humans we are all working with tricky, messy minds and suffer.  Acknowledging common humanity reconnects me to my community.  Connecting is imperative for my survival, it puts me at ease and clips my flight response.  This course encouraged me to look within to my inner knowing and to seek discernment from the books of wisdom found in the living library of humanity.  Common humanity helps me to not quit practicing self compassion as compassion then extends outwards.

Cracking

“The wound is the place where light enters you” Rumi

A crack, an opening of the heart, this muscle develops with the practice of self compassion.  Learning self compassion involves cracking old belief systems such as what is self indulgent, selfish and a sign of weakness.

My Irish friend would refer to having a ” bit of crack with a good friend”.  No she was not taking illicit drugs –  she was having a yarn with mates over a cuppa.  How would it be if you could kindly sit yourself down and mindfully have a self compassionate bit of crack with yourself ?  How would this impact on the people you love and struggle with?  A curiosity that invites exploring compassion to self mindfully.

References and Resources

Tina and Peter Gibson:  Adelaide Mindfulness refer to www.adelaidemindfulness.com

Kristin Neff , Ph D

www.Self- Compassion.org

Kirstin Neff (2011) Self Compassion,Harper Collins Publishing

Paul Gilbert, Ph D

https://compassionatemind.co.uk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v+e2skA.

Christopher Germer, Ph D

www.MindfulSelfCompassion.org

Christopher Germer The Mindful Path to self compassion

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Remnants

Remnants the reminders, the remains of the passed and past.  A gecko was a visionary totem according to Sam Weinstein my yoga teacher.  He and his wife Sydel heeded their visions in creating The Transformational Yoga Centre and Family Nurturing Centre.  Sadly he unexpectedly passed away. I find there are remnants that keep my memories of people passed alive in my day.

We celebrate in our own way the lose of loved ones.  The funerals and wakes we attend hallmark the ongoing celebration of the legacy people leave.  Asanas with red threads, “accepting is transcendance”  I hear on an internal recording held in antiquity.  My brother in laws Mother’s brandy butter, her outstretched skirt with curtsy and swirls, her generosity to all.

There is a texture to my day sourced from a Departed Dear one’s  treasure trove of sayings, movements, scents and visions.  A wave of sadness shifts into gratitude for what was and is.

Woven into my being are the fabric of wisdom threads sewn carefully by craftsmen and women who cut me lose.  I find myself showing peers these threads of wisdom and so sewing on the legacies of what I have learnt.

Remnants:

Remaining

Everlasting

Meaningful

Nuonces

Aquisitioned

Neatly

Timely

Saved