Thanksgiving in my life

Thanksgiving is practiced in North America and Canada last month.  I am not originating from this part of the world though I do like the sentiment of appreciation and gratitude that it celebrates.  There may be no pumpkin pie and turkey on my diner table tonight. The spread I serve here is an Australians thankyou in pictures.

For the young and free

That are brave and inspire

We’ve golden soil and wealth for toil

For the food I grow and can purchase freely

Our land is girt by sea

That we enjoy

For friends and family

For Beauty rich and rare

Thanksgiving for the opportunities I have and the capacity to act to implement my dreams.  To the dreamers and dream makers for bringing ideas to the light into reality.

 Ta da transcending…

Ta da… with a swoosh of a magic wand — situations changed.   We have this magic in our capacity to transcend moments by connecting  to the larger universe and finding meaning.  Appreciation, gratitude, hope, humour and spirituality are the character strengths that help us to transcend.

Appreciation

Appreciation is the Wow! OHH present moment awareness of the qualities of people or objects.   It can be for the simple blessing of being able to breath independently in the morning to see the sunrise, feel the breeze, smell the salty air and be.  One Easter I was stranded with my dog standing in a bikini on a beach as my keys, car, phone, dress and wallet were stolen.   The next morning at work I gained appreciation for all I had and lost when caring for a mother with a critically ill baby.

Gratitude

Gratitude is the base from which appreciation grows.  Melody Beatty describes how:

” Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.  It turns what we have into enough and more”.

Mick Jagger sang “You can’t always get what you want” these lyrics highlight the subtle difference between gratitude and appreciation.   Gratitude is felt after you get what you want.   Appreciation comes when you appreciate what you are given – even when it is not what you want.

Hope

Hope is :

“expecting the best in the future and working to achieve it; believing that a good future is something that can be brought about”. Peterson and Seligman (2004 p. 570)

It is observed in: optimism, future mindness, future goal orientation – a cognitive, emotional and motivational stance towards the future.  There is a link with hope and imagination for it is the ability to see what is not in the here and now.   Living in hope is not holding to illusions but allowing for possibilities which takes courage and conviction. When swimming in the ocean my hope is not to be my nickname ” shark biscuit” so I swim with other more tasty morsels.

Humour

Humour our capacity to take life lightly, laugh at ourselves seeing the funny side of dire circumstances.  The benefits of laughing include:

•  Physical health reducing blood pressure, increasing circulation and reducing pain;
• Coping mechanism as we release emotional tension;
• Psychological wellbeing as in laughing we create bonds with others, combat stress, alleviate tension, improve communication and boost morale.

Spirituality

Spirituality, religiousness, faith describe the acceptance of the existence of a greater power that provides a larger scheme for the universe.  It is expressed in a myriad of ways in which one surrenders to a belief system. Spirituality can provide a community where there is social support and a sense of belonging.  Spiritual practices that honor the interconnectedness of life help buffer pain and promote self compassion as researched by Neff, K. (2011).  Steve Southwick (2012) wrote:

“spiritual people find ways to meet the challenges and continue with purposeful lives….. they bounce back and carry on.”

The rainbow is my reminder that I am not alone and that getting through the storm is rewarded with this colourful arch.

  Ta da…

Transcending the circumstances challenging me is not always magical as  I may complain, lament, do tragic and meltdown.   Appreciation, gratitude, faith, humour and hope shift me beyond limitations to transcend.  These are the strengths within us our magic.

Special thanks to Laraine and Grant Rayner of Loose Goose Chalets, Nannup W.A. for rehabilitating injured wild life like the Wallaby: Rosie seen above.

 References

Beatty, M in http://www.beliefnet.com/columnists/yourdailyspirit

Neff, K (2011) Self Compassion, New York, Harper Collins

Peterson, C & Segilman, MEP (2004) Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification. Washington, D.C American Psychology Association

Selvam, S. (2010) Faith, Hope and Love as expressions of human transcendence: Insights from Positive Psychology: A paper presentation at the postgraduate interdisciplinary conference on Faith, Hope and Love, London: Heuthrop College

Southwick, S (2012) The science of meeting life’s greatest challenges, New York, Cambridge University press.ng injured

Meaning  filled life

Who am I?

Why am I here?

Where am I going?

What do I want?

What is real?

What is true?

These questions form our search for meaning. The internal quest to find meaning takes courage to look within and trust.   We may not have all the answers but as Socrates said:    “The unexamined life is not worth living”.

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The Hoods of Women

The Hoods of women relates to the life transitions of:  maiden hood, motherhood and wise womanhood.  These periods of adjustment had rites of passage,  honoring the challenges and  changes experienced in each Hood.  I write this blog in celebration of women’s dynamic capacity to create their wellbeing at any age or stage.

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2 Ears, 1 Mouth

Communication connecting with: words, gestures, silence, tone, volume, accent, facial expression, eye contact to carry meaning.  It is a skill to be nurtured and practiced.  Our first utterances are the beginning of a lifelong quest in connecting verbally and non verbally.

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 R U free to play?

School holidays have begun, watching the children in my life I remember the concept of play.  It has been on my too do, longed for list for too long.  I can become Missing in action with life, stale with seriousness. “R U Free to play?” is the text message sent out to friends.

RE- creation

The  spark of joy, the spontaneity that clears the mind, inspires imagination and  vitalizes our life is play otherwise known as recreation.  It is an attitude that transforms the ordinary into super powers, common objects are treasures and the moment holds an infinity.  Hang out with a toddler and your perspective shifts as a walk in the garden becomes a science expedition, groove time and ode sung to the fairies.  Play is not reserved to children as it nourishes adults lives to.

Playtime

I worked with a mother who was an artist and she would allocate herself 30 minutes a day to do her art. It was her haven where, what she did was hers, it was not altered by the family and she saw it grow. Giving ourselves permission to play nurtures our wellbeing.   Our mind shifts as we become absorbed in play experiencing the flow of being in the moment.  Learning is possible with play as we explore, trial, invent, discover new skills and roles.  Play is unique to you it may be a jigsaw, a hammock lie or building a sandcastle.

The CC’s of Play

The CC’s are competition and cooperation these two elements run as an undercurrent and influence the tone of play.  Competition the drive to win can motivate but when taken to far rivalry, pressure, put downs and cheating arise.  Competitive play can be harmful and limiting.  When  people start to compare themselves, their self concept is measured according to others skills and attributes leaves many of us lacking and wanting.  Recently there has been reports that children are not engaging in sport for fear of losing.  You win when you turn up and participate.

Cooperation is the team work that comes from working together for a common goal.   My sister describes how my nephew was winning a race and turned to see his mate behind him and stopped to wait so they could finish together.  Sharing and striving together can lead to humour outbreaks with seriousness sitting on the sideline.  Seriousness with its judgement and angst needs to be broken down as it can become an aspect of overblown self importance.

Freedom to play

Play is free but there is a cost to your wellbeing if you don’t play.

Deep fried burnout, hyper alert defenses, rigid schedules and the need to be right all the time are some of the signs of play withdrawal.

R U Free to play?

Can you give yourself this timeout?

Can you drop the seriousness of life?

Can you laugh at yourself?

Play exists beyond childhood or holidays. As Wayne Hackett stated:

“Its never to late to have a happy childhood”.